Beer koozies and men can co-exist

BDN|Ardeana Hamlin
These crocheted (left) and knit can koozies, made with the cotton yarn the color of mud, are intended for use by men who care whether or not they leave water rings on furniture.

There is no doubt in my mind that real men do not use to beer can koozies, at least not in public.

However, some men may in the privacy of their own man caves want to protect from can sweat certain of their prized possessions, such as the green felt surface of the pool table or the top of the coffee table handcrafted from old boards rescued from a vintage barn.

If that’s the case, there are many can cozy options available in stores, most bearing sports logos. But for a homemade, and, I might add, a discreet touch, it will be necessary to enlist girlfriends, wives and mothers in knitting or crocheting can koozies. Contrary to popular belief, women can be sworn to secrecy if the request is made in such a way that they think it’s purely a work of love in service to the preservation of furniture. Only you will know if there’s more to it than that. Just saying …

I’ve given a lot of thought to this idea, prompted by fellow blogger Chad Lothian of “If My Coaster could Talk” fame at http://ifmycoastercouldtalk.bangordailynews.com/.

Recently I went on a mission to see what might work in terms of yarn. I eliminated acrylic yarn immediately because it doesn’t readily absorb moisture. True, it comes in blaze orange and that was definitely in its favor, but …

That pretty much left cotton, which, in my opinion is a very manly fiber, when you stop and think about it. Most of the men I know are clothed from inside out, head to foot, in cotton.

I searched for yarn in camouflage colors, which I could not find, so I ended up choosing cotton yarn the color of mud, shading from a pale baked earth color to a reddish brown duller than rust to a dark brown that reminds me of clods of dirt tracked in after a session of intense worm digging.

• Here are the instructions for knitting the cozy:

Materials needed: One 2-ounce skein of Peaches and Cream cotton yarn in the color Good Earth.

One pair of U.S. size 7 knitting needles.

Cast on 16 stitches.

Row 1: Knit across.

Knit each row until piece measures 8½ inches.

Bind off. Sew the two short sides together.

Install the cozy around a can of brew — home or otherwise.

• Here are the crocheted cozy instructions:

Materials needed: One 2-ounce skein of Peaches and Cream cotton yarn in the color Good Earth.

One U.S. size H crochet hook.

Chain 14.

Row 1: Sc in second chain stitch from hook, and in each chain across. Ch. 1. Turn.

Row: 2: Sc in first sc, and in each chain across. Ch 1. Turn.

Repeat Row 2 until piece measures 8½ inches.

End off. Sew the two short ends together.

Install the cozy around a cold can — or bottle — of your favorite brew.

After I finished making both versions of the cozy, I had this amazing insight. I realized the cozy can double as a wrist band — so if if one of your buddies shows up unannounced, and you really don’t want to hear his comments about the cozy around your can, you can discreetly slip it over your hand and onto your wrist before he even gets to the doorstep. The cozy will be covered by your sleeve and he won’t suspect a thing. Added value? Wear one on the other wrist at all times and if you ever need a can cozy in a hurry, you’ll have one.

 

Snippets

The Quilts by the Bay show,  sponsored by Friendship Sampler Quilts of Belfast, a chapter of Pine Tree Quilters Guild, will be held 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Friday and Saturday, Oct. 18-19, at the Boat House, 34 Commercial St. The event will feature raffles, vendors, refreshments and door prizes. Admission is $4.

A Yarn Social with Robin Case will be held 1-2 p.m. Tuesday, Oct. 29, at the Orono Library.  Bring your favorite stitching project or learn something new. Case will provide direction and help. There is no fee. The event is sponsored by Gateway Seniors Without Walls. Call 889-3031 for information.

Recommend this article